Money CAN buy health

We always said money cant buy health. Is that true? I did advised ppl dun just keep working to earn money and neglect your health. Now, I did change my view bit. Money can buy health, to some extent.

Healthy food, is never in cheap price. Most of the cheap foods are not healthy, like fast food which too oily, economic rice which too salty, tin food which too much preservative etc. Home cook is healthy. But that's expensive. To cook a dinner for 2 persons, one soup 2 dishes (healthy menu), will cost at least RM30. Not only the raw materials are expensive, time of cooking also 'expensive'. Estimate cooking time from preparation to done, at least 1 hour. That 1 hour you may meeting with someone that could brought you million business.

Healthy lifestyle for example regular exercise, it's not cheap. Jogging can be expensive now. With the air pollution now, you cant jogging anywhere you like. Even you do, the air that you inhaled may not healthy. So to exercise at a place that healthy, you need to pay. Maybe fitness center, or maybe club house, or your neighborhood garden which you paid for the maintained fees.

When you fall sick, without medical card you wont get be the first one who get treatment. If you dun have money to pay for certain deposit, you cant even get a bed in the hospital.

So health, is actually need money to buy.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love refers to love someone regardless of one's action or belief. Or most ppl will understand it as loving someone without hoping returns. But I dun believe that we can do so much things to show our love to someone but hoping nothing from him. Basic human being, we at least will hope the person love us back like we do. For greedy instinct we even hope to get more than what we gave. So is that mean we never give unconditional love?

I dun think so. We still give unconditional love. We HOPE there will have returns of our love, it doesn't mean MUST have returns. When we keep giving love, but nothing in returns, are we stop giving now? If yes, that's not unconditional love. If no, that's unconditional love.

Example, the most common unconditional love we give is to children. Parents always give their child unconditional love. They always said we dun expect they pay us back. In fact, really they dun want anything in returns? They dun wish their child love them? Then why are the old forks in old forks home so upset and lonely? Of course, we, parents hope our child will love us like we love them, and take care of us when we are old. But does that means if when we know our child wont take care us, we will not love her anymore? We will regret to love her before? Even regret to create her? I wont. So I think that's my unconditional love to my little one.

Another unconditional love, to your lover. Dun tell me you didn't hope anything from your lover after you did so many things to show how much you love him. I hope so much from him. I want him to love me, even more than I love him. I want him to do everything for me, fetch me to wherever I want, buy me whatever I like, listen whatever I want to tell, stay by me all the time... Then I ask myself, if he dun do any of it, will I still love him? Yes, I do. Of course, I'm not stupid that even he treat me badly and dun love me at all, and I still love him like idiot.

So my conclusion for unconditional love is, love someone in hoping for reasonable returns and will continue loving even you dun get what you want.

Yesterday, I saw him sleeping so tired. I'm wondering when he is stressed and tired, he needs sleep more or love? I guess physically he needs sleep, rest. But mentally he will still need love. So I will continue to love him even he cant talk to me when I wish he could.

Back to track!

Was too busy on the previous month, now almost everything back to track. Baby getting more mature, I got more sleeping hour than the previous months, so I looked more like a human than a vampire de.

Well, I will get some time to update what had been happening this few months. Just to let everyone know, I am back!! My baby is so adorable now, will upload her photo as well. Anyway, she got her own blog also, lilprincess.kidmondo.com, avryl.totspot.com

But you need to sign up to view details of her growth.

10 more days to go

I was so bored during these confinement month. So I shifted to my mum's place on Wednesday, also because mother-in-law will be busy on giving tuition. At here, my mum helped me take care baby more. But darling not coming here everyday.

Yesterday darling did came and stay for 1 night. I went out with darling to buy 'tong sui' at night. From the day baby was born, seems like never have time to talk with darling. Even we chat also all about baby. Darling was too tired to talk with me most of the time, sometimes he rather watch tv. But I knew he needs some entertainment too. Finally yesterday we did chat more than baby's stuff in car while going to Cheras buy 'tong sui'. I felt happier and more relax now, not that depress any more.

Well, there's still 10 more days to go. I will try my best to stay positive and take good care of baby. Baby is growing bigger day by day. She looks more cute now, less like daddy also lol. Baby's blog @ lilprincess.kidmondo.com

Sincerely Thank You!!

My baby is now 1 week and 2 days old. We went for check up few days ago. Everything is fine, and she dun have jaundice that need to stay hospital. Most babies have jaundice during the first few days, some serious case need to stay hospital to put under the ultra violet. Luckily my baby was healthy enough. Everything is going fine for her and me as well.

These had to thanks to ppl who take care of us for this whole week. Mother-in-law cook my lunch and dinner everyday, so that I got healthy meals. They also buy those herbs for me to shower. Darling was tired also by cooking all those shower water for me and baby. Old folks said during confinement month cannot touch water that not cook, so darling need to cook extra waters for me to wash hand n etc. Some more need to carry up to 1st floor. We also bought a set of confinement herbal from Amway which content herbal tea, pills, herbal shower, massage oil n etc. to help body recover.

Have to thanks to my mum too, who came every morning to bath baby. My mum bought so many baby stuffs for her little grand-daughter. Almost everyday got new things for her. My bro also likes her so much, everyday before school also come see her with mum. Mum also cook some 'hong zou sui' for me, and always buy me bread for breakfast or homemade sandwich.

Thanks to my darling who help me to arrange urut for me. Many ppl thought that urut is only for slimming purpose. But actually it helps the uterus to back in shape faster also. And it can help to clear the 'dirty blood' in your body. The tukang urut Kak Ummi is a nice indonesian lady from bali. I dun feel any pain while urut, it's just so comfortable. I guess urut was the best moment during my confinement month. The urut took about 2 hours. Everytime when I was having urut, baby was taking care by mother-in-law or hubby if he at home. But I just felt guilty for not taking care of my baby. At first I planned to urut for 5 days, end up I only took 4 days. But I guess that's enough. Will ask for urut when free even after confinement.

Lastly, thanks to all my friends who came to visit me and also those who sent their warm regards to me and baby. I was happy to share my birth experience and experience of taking care baby with all of you. Without all of your visits and wishes, my confinement month will be super bored. Well, will share on my confinement experience after a month. Below are all the gifts that received from friends and relatives, all are so cute and nice. Really thanks!

~ By Eva Liew ~~ By my bro Zhi Hui ~~ By my uncle ~~ By Teacher Daphne ~~ By art teacher Ms Wong ~~ By student's mum Clarissa ~~ By Sumarni ~~ By Eunice ~

There are also some cards and ang pau from darling's collegues, friends and relatives. Anyway, thanks for all of you.

1st April 2009

Baby was finally born healthy and safe on 1st April 2009. Ya, it's much earlier than estimate due date. She is a naughty girl who choose to come on April Fool. Well, this will be a long blog i guess... Let's start with the 30th night.

As usual I was teaching on Tuesday night with darling. After teach we had our supper at SS2 since I'm craving for kiwi-lou for quite some time. While having my kiwi-lou, i felt bit backache. Darling thought I was tired so we finish our 'lou' in short time and get back home. While in the car, I suddenly felt there's continuous pain on one side of my tummy. I told darling but both of us just dun aware of the sign. I did some household before goin to bed, but I felt like the tummy was getting hard few times for a short while. I told darling, your daughter wont be so naughty playing April Fool with me guar... We suspected something but not quite sure. So I time the 'harden' feeling, but it only occurs once in 10 minutes like that. I was so tired that time, so I told darling let's sleep. Even if there's contraction also no need to admit hospital too early. I really not sure was that contraction, cause I only felt the harden feeling but no pain at all.

In the mid night, I woke up to toilet as usual. I felt that harden feeling again, and it seems like getting more frequent. So I stay awake to time the 'feeling' for half an hour. The 'feeling' came every 3-4 minutes and last for about 1 minute. So I guess there's the contraction. I decided to take a shower and go to the hospital. At that time was about 4.30am. I told darling to get ready. After shower and took all things that we prepared early, we went to hospital on 5am.

Once reach the delivery room, the nurse put me on CTG to check baby's heart beats and contractions. After checking for about 30mins, confirm my contraction is regular then the nurse check that the cervix was dilated 3cm. Then all the procedures started. Darling need to do admission for me, I need to change the hospital gown, nurse calling doc n etc. Darling told the nurse that I dun want epidural. So I was given a normal pain killer jab. Then I was asked to drip for inducing since the cervix was already dilated 3cm. It will made the process faster but it will be more painful. After consulting my mum, and with darling's support, I put on the drip. After that, all I need to do was just wait. Darling was there with me. He was reading his novel but I keep talking with him. He was patient listening and answering me all the time. Everything goes well with baby heart beats and contractions all normal. Most importantly, I dun really felt pain. Just slight stomach cramps like period pain.

Waiting was quite tiring. Around 10am like that, I felt so sleepy. I try to take a nap since I dunno still need to wait how long. Actually doc said after drip longest also 6 hours only, it means latest 1pm will deliver. But after taking nap, the nurse found that my contraction was getting low. She checked the cervic again, it was dilated 5cm only. Well, that's not good news to me, seems like going to wait very long. Though the nurse said contraction was getting low but I actually felt more pain. That was around 1130am.

The nurse and midvive will come check me every half an hour. Around 12pm they came and keep looking on the CTG result, I saw that baby's heart beat was dropping everytime my contraction came. I was so worried and panic. But the midwife said it's sign that baby coming soon. They check the cervic again but it still 5cm dilated only. I was getting more and more pain. I told them and they ask me whether feeling to push, I said yes. Then one of them call doc and the other one check the cervic again. She said she cant find the cervic most porperly fully dilated. The pain came and I start acted unconsciously.

Doc came in a short while and examine the cervix then confirmed that I can deliver now. The environment became so excited at the moment. Midwives were busy getting ready all equipment, doc also getting ready himself by putting on his gown. I was in pain. Darling was still beside me to give support and telling me to breath in and out. Then doc asked me to listen to his instruction. When I felt the urge to push I told doc. Then doc asked me to push and he will assist me to get baby out. I can saw doc was using the forcep to get the baby out. I just pushed few seconds then baby was out.

Darling told me it's over, baby came out de. Then I heard she cried loudly. Midwife placed her on my chest after doc cut off her cord. Just a while, then baby was removed from me to clean up by the midwife just beside me. I was given another injection to help removed the placenta. After that, doc try to clean those 'blood' in my tummy. I was forced to have episiotomy (cause I dun want it if possible) due to tears. It was really painful, very very pain. Nurse and darling try to distract my concentration by placing baby on my chest again. I can saw she was clean and no more crying. But I really felt the pain downstairs. It's unbearable for me. I hold baby's leg so tight. Midwife faster removed her away and gave me the gas to reduce pain.

I breath in lots n lots of the gas as it's really so so so pain. I can feel the sewing movement. I became blur after breathed in so much so the gas. The process last so long, so I guess I had tear badly (till now I still not sure how bad was it, coz I dun dare to check it). Finally everything done, I was cleanned up by the nurse. I need to stay at the delivery room for 1 hour in case any bleeding. Baby and darling were there with me. I was holding the little one. She's so tiny. But she looks smart with big eyes keep turning around. Midwife told me to breastfeed her asap, so I tried it. She took some time to latch on my nipple, but soon she got it then she start sucking. She's really smart. After a while, baby need to be sent to the nursery for other checking. Then left me alone, coz darling need to follow up some procedures and parents-in-law were there.

Well, I was not very tired at the moment, so I made the birth announcement by sending sms to my friends and relatives. Nurse came and told me baby weights 2.4kg. She was born on 12.43pm. I got few immediate replied from friends and relatives to congrat for my safely delivered. There were also friends that do not believe on my sms and thought it was April Fool joke. I was busy replying all msg and wishes. Till 2.30pm only they transfered me to the wad. Unfortunately there was no more single room, so I was forced to take the double room.

There are few visitors on that day. 1st was darling's auntie, then came my mum. My mum stay ed with me for few hours and nurse did bring baby to our room too. Baby's face got a red mark which caused by the forcep. According to nurse, it will disappear soon. But we just felt pity that baby was hurt =( Darling went for lunch and back home to rest for a while when my mum was with me.

After mum gone, I was busy on arranging ppl to take care the music school. Though very tired at the moment, but I knew darling must be tired too. So dun wish to disturb him. Unfortunately no one free to give help. End up I need to wake darling up to go pass key for another teacher, Eunice. Luckily Eunice was so helpful. She will close the school for us after everyone teach. Since she staying at Kota Kemuning with his husband, so it's quite convenient to her.

Then Eva came to visit me too. After that was my uncle family, then my parents bring my little bro along after his school. Then father-in-law bring my dinner, ginger fried rice for me. Darling was back at that time too. Around 7.30pm more friends coming, ManYee and her bf Yau, Chi Jee, Lim Kang and Kian Kee. Baby was with all the guests at the moment. She was sleeping tightly. Everyone agreed her nose like his father, some said lips like me. However, overall is like her father. Haha... So i told my friends, if you want your baby looks like you must look more on mirror. Cause I look too much on my darling.

My parents were last left at 11pm like that. Darling went back home to get my charger for me and came back at 1130pm. Due to double room, he cant be there with me. So I have to sleep alone that night. It was really a long night.

Here, I would really thanks to my darling, for keeping me accompanient most of the time. I know he was so tired too. But I can see his happiness from his eyes when he was looking at our little precious princess. I love my baby, but I felt more love to my darling. Without him we wont have this little cute girl. Everytime I saw our girl, I will think of darling. I know he is working hard to take care me, baby and his job to provide us more stable finance. Once again, thanks dear and I love you so much!

Happy Birthday to Charmaine

To my dearest Charmaine,

Happy 1st Birthday to you. So sad that we cant be together after you born and we cant celebrate birthday with you. But I know you are happy in your world. You will have your friends to celebrate and play with you all the time. You will be laughing happily all the time. I can see that.

Now I'm having your little sister, but you will still always in my heart. You are always one of our family member, we wont forget you. I will tell your little sister about you when she grows up one day. We will all be missing you.

Although we cant celebrate all your birthday with you, but does not means we have forgotten you. Wish you be happy all the time, and I love you!

Plan may change

All the while I'm planning for a natural birth. A really natural one if possible. Means I will only go into labour when there's labour sign like contraction or show or water break. But now most probably will go for an induced labour.

I missed out this point in the previous post, Dr. Ng mentioned that due to my stillbirth history, I cannot wait till 40 weeks only deliver. He suggested to deliver on week 38. But anyway we didn't discuss much on this topic with doc yet. I will prefer to deliver slightly later if possible. Cause 38 weeks seems still small. But it also depends on my baby's size. If she is weight enough and doc think she is ready, then will still consider doc's suggestion.

I want to have a healthy baby. Feel stress recently. Worry also. I'm not sure what I can do to ensure my baby will be healthy. My mum and mother-in-law actually dun support for C-Section or induce before 40 weeks. Darling dun support C-Section also. Actually me myself also dun like to have C-Section. So Ceasarean will be out of our choice for sure. Inducing, is still under consideration and will discuss with doc bout when and how to induce during the next appointment.

Now, I just hope everything can goes well and my little princess, "you must continue grow and work hard with mummy k? We will go thru all these and have fun together soon! Mummy loves you!"

Check Up at Columbia Asia Hospital

I did my 34 weeks check up at Columbia Asia Hospital yesterday with Dr. Ng Soon Pheng. The hospital was located at Bandar Puteri, Puchong. It's a quite new hospital. It looks clean and nice overall although it's compound is not very big.

I had made the appointment in advanced, so by the time i reached just need to register and do some common checking like urine test & weight checking then it's my turn. The doc looks quite young, around 30+ or 40. He is the only doc who asked more questions on my previous still birth case (so far went for 3 gynae for this pregnancy). After understand my previous records and health details, then he did the scan of my baby.

The ultrasound machine is a 4D scanning machine. I'm not sure what's the FOUR D, but I managed to see my baby's face. She (well, we actually forgot to ask the gender again) looks so much like my hubby, with a big nose and the lips also like him. The scanning was quite long, due to my little one keep moving around and doc unable to do some measurements. According to doc, everything is fine. Here's my little one's first photo, all of us agreed that she is ugly... hahaha
After the scanning, Dr. Ng said due to my previous history he will automatically put me into high risk pregnancy. He mentioned 3 things that I need to do and consider. 1st, I need to count the baby's movement every morning from 9am. It must at least has 10 movements before 6pm, or else I have to go to hospital. 2nd, he will put me in baby monitoring on the next visit to monitor baby's heart beats. 3rd, he wants be to consider whether to have natural birth or C-section.

Well, I never wanted and never think about having C-Section. So was quite shock by his suggestion. I keep asking the reasons that I need to go for C-Section. According to doc, C-Section is the safest way to deliver a healthy baby. Wherease during natural birth, many things can happen to the baby including oxigen cut off. So due to my history, he suggested me to go for a C-Section.

After leaving the hospital, me and darling keep discussing bout the birth methods. Darling was not really satisfied with the doc that keep promoting on Ceasarean. Overall the hospital, nurses and doc are nice to us, polite and caring. The only concern of my hubby was the doc keep promoting Ceasarean. For the delivery fees, normal delivery will be around RM2700 - RM3000, C-Section will be around RM4700-5000. Compare with Sunway Medical Center, normal delivery will be around RM3000-4000, C-Section will be around RM5500-6500. For normal delivery, not really much different, but for Ceasarean that's the dif.

Discuss and discuss, I decided to have natural birth still. I really have no intention to go for C-Section at all. And I believe as long as I have the strong will to give birth in natural, then I can do it. For the hospital choice, most probably will be going to Columbia Asia. It's so much nearer and even accidentally I have to go for Ceasearean also not so expensive.

So my next check up will be in 2 weeks later. Hopefully everything will go smooth.

Late Survey

I'm now in week 33 of my pregnancy, meaning there's less than 2 months time I will be going to deliver my little princess. All the while I did my prenatal check up at Sunway Medical Center. But yesterday only I found out that their charges for delivery is quite expensive. There's info that their normal deliver charge had increased to around 6k from Feb 09 onwards. That's far from my expectation for a normal delivery. What if, touch wood, I need a C-sec? Then will cost me 10k?? That's out of my budget.

Further more, it seems like the hospital still under expansion reno, there will only has 1 single room available. I'm actually a quite dependent person that always need my hubby to accompany me. So i definitely want a single room so that darling can stay with me for that particular night.

I got some info from forum with quite a good review of Columbia Asia Hospital at Bandar Puteri. Their charges is around 3k for normal delivery, even C-sec also around 5k. That's really more affordable. Due to financial and room facilities prob, after discuss with my darling we decided to pay a visit to the gynae Dr. Ng(who had good review from the forum also) at Columbia Asia on Mon.

Besides the financial and room prob, actually there's another concern also, my usual gynae Dr Jason will be away on holiday from this 30th till 9th April. My due date is on the 24 April. It means if I'm going to deliver 2 or more weeks earlier, Dr Jason will not be there. That's why I need to get another gynae. One more advantage to choose Columbia Asia is that the hospital is so near to my house, just 5 minutes drive will do and no need to worry bout traffic jam.

Thus, with all the above reasons Columbia Asia most probably will be our choice.

Underwear

If your man had an affair with other woman/ women, are you going to forgive him? How far can you accept of having an affair? Don't worry, it's not happen to me, yet.

Here I came out with this example. Your man is just like your underwear, it's so close and intimate to you that you probably wont like to share with other women. But one day, your underwear was accidentally wore by another woman, who knows for what reason. Let say you didn't find out in the 1st moment and you still wear it like usual. But after sometimes you found out that was worn by others once in the time, will you just straight throw the underwear to the dustbin and never wear it again? Or since it was just once in the time and was happened accidentally, some more you found out after quite sometimes, so you will just clean properly the underwear and continue wear it as usual?

What if you immediately found out the underwear was wore by another woman? Will you still wear that underwear? Imagine that's your beloved underwear, that so suit you. If you cant accept that someone was wearing it before, will you just throw it away? But that's your beloved underwear, good in quality (at least you believe it quality's good) and you've been wearing for years. Maybe you feel hard to throw away, then you will just keep in your drawer for memory purpose but never want to wear it anymore?

The examples are just that if the underwear was wore by another woman (one), not women (two or more). Think of it, what will you do? Well, for me, I guess no matter it was wore by one woman or two women or even more, and no matter I find out immediately or after sometimes, it's still the same answer. I will throw it to the dustbin and never wear it again. There's plenty of underwear in this world, who knows I cant get a better one?

One more question, I don't understand why there's women who don't mind wearing others' underwear?

Week 31

I'm now in week 31 of my pregnancy. I really didn't put on much weight. So far I only put on 6-7 kg. My last check up was 2 weeks ago, now 2 weeks past by and I checked my weight at home. It didn't increase at all!!

I really start worry. Everyone also said my tummy was still so small. Only 2 more months to go. But I keep telling myself it's ok. Doc didn't say anything bad. And baby is growing in average weight increase every check up. But now, almost 8 months of my pregnancy. I still put on less than 10 kg weight. It's really too little!! I eat as normal. Most of the morning I had my breakfast even just a cup of milk. I never missed any lunch meals. I also had my tea-time most of the 3.15pm. Dinner was quite in-time also. I did took supper most of the nights even a cup of mama-milk. How come? I just can't put on weight!

I'm not sure what can I do besides keep eating. Now I try to talk to my baby, telling her to keep growing. "Baby, you must keep growing and be strong. Mummy will work hard also and don't worry that mummy will be suffer if you are big. Mummy will be happy to see you grow well and healthy. So we work hard together k? Gambate!!"

Baby Gift Ideas 2

Dear friends & relatives,

Here are some pics of baby stuffs that I found quite nice and useful for me. Just as a guideline for you.

Famidoc: 4 in 1 Thermometer

RM 129.00

Snow Bear: 2 in 1 Car and Home Warmer
RM 149.90


Graco: Pack and Play Yard Safari Park
RM 399.00


The First Years: Dreams in Sight Mobile
RM 199.00

Halford: Elite Classic Baby Carrier
RM 305.10

All the above stuffs can be getting from www.mybbstore.com. Thanks Eva for providing this useful website.

Valentine's Day

Another Valentine's Day... Well, nothing special happened this year, as usual I didn't get any present *sigh* But we watched a very nice movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

It's really a nice movie, cast by Brad Pitt. Well, I admit that my initial to watch the movie was because of Brad. I knew that's some kind of romance movie so choose to watch it on Valentine's Day. However, now I like the movie was because the story line itself. Of course Brad Pitt acted well in the movie =) Basically it's not totally a romance movie, it's a movie about life. Worth to watch it!!

Baby Gift Ideas

Dear all friends & relatives,

Well, I'm always a straight forward person, that wont feel 'pai sei' to ask for gifts. So here I came out of a list of gifts that you can buy for my little princess. Some I already bought it myself or there are kind parents 'donate' for me. Will also include the price as a guide for your budget.

• Pram/stroller

• Car seat

• Baby cot

• Play pen. (RM 180 – RM 1000)

• Bottle steamer/ sterilizer

• Breast pump – excellent piece for breastfeeding mums. Better don't buy it if you have no idea on how it works.

• Ear thermometer – a necessity caring parents must have. Very useful when the child is down with fever and parents need this to monitor the temperature. (RM 90 – RM 200)

• Baby carrier/ infant car seat – need it to travel my baby from my house to my mum's house when I'm driving alone. Better choose an O+ group. (RM180 – RM 800)

• Baby clothing – preferably 6 months onwards. Babies normally outgrow their clothing very fast and it's always advisable to buy bigger size clothes.

• Mitten and booties – mothers do not mind additional pairs because during the first three months, their babies just love the fingers and the change over are very fast. Furthermore, babies like to practise 'kung fu' during these months; mitten will prevent them from scratching their face. Of course I will be appreciating if you can get a cute one.

• Baby disposable diaper – I am sure every mum does not mind receiving more of this. A bigger size may be appropriate. DO NOT BUY NEWBORN

• Reusable nappies – I think I had enough of this, but if you have extra one want to 'donate', I won't mind.

• Baby developmental toy – this may not be useful immediately, but definitely a playmate for the baby as he grows.

• Child caring books for first time mother. – have enough reference books

• Books on baby food recipe.

• Baby sling – most probably for my hubby use it. lol

• Diaper bag – with good compartment and nice design will be appreciate

• Cooler case – a working mother and would like to breastfeed after going back to work may need it.

• Bottle warmer – to warm the breast milk after freeze.

• Mosquito net – Malaysia is full of fierce mosquitoes.

• Bibs - this is useful when the baby grows and their saliva drips non-stop! Again, would be appreciating if you can get a cute one.

Some of the prices still not sure, will find it out and update it. Anything that I missed out will also update in future. Some of these are really expensive, so you not necessary have to buy it yourself but can share with others. So do discuss among your group and let me know what will you buy, so the gift wont be repeated. Get what I mean?? Haha, I'm always very 'honest' in getting presents.

Second Trimester

Here's my baby when she was 25 weeks old. Second trimester start from week 16 until 28.

Thru out the second trimester, I felt quite comfortable. Morning sickness gone, and I was quite enjoy with shopping on baby stuffs and maternity clothes. I found a shop selling maternity clothes with reasonable price and nice in style. So actually I invested much on that :p But since it's only my 'first' pregnancy, I think it's worth to invest coz I can still wear it in future pregnancy.


I didn't put on lots weight, every check up only put on average 2kg. But doc said it's normal and baby's weight was on average. The most terrible thing that happened in this second trimester, was I nearly admitted to hospital due to a virus called chikungunya. It's actually something like denggi. But luckily the fever gone after 3 days. And doc said the fever didn't affect the baby. According to doc normally after fever, the amniotic fluid will decrease but mine didn't. So it's really lucky!

My baby always kicking in my tummy when I'm driving with music, teaching on Christmas songs, and most obvious when I'm trying to sleep. But I felt happy on her kick boxing, like now she seems like knowing that I'm talking bout her so she responding =) My tummy become bigger day by day, but it's not huge. Many ppl keep saying "how come your tummy still so small?". I don't like to hear that, I felt offense by their words. I think that it's not good to comment on pregnant woman's tummy no matter saying it's so big or so small. We, pregnant women need more positive encouragement than comments. Well, to make myself feel better after the 'hurt' feeling, I will tell myself they are just jealous that I still look slim with my healthy tummy =)

Actually I still cant sure she is a girl. During the last check up, me and darling decided to ask for the gender before we went into doc's room. But my little baby was so shy yet smart, she knew we wanted to ask the doc for the gender thus she chose a sitting position on that day. So doc cant really see it clearly. But most probably she is a little princess. =) See you in 3 more months my dear!

Triangular theory of love

Last time when I studied psychology, there's a theory of love which I think quite close to what I think of love. It's a theory developed by Robert Sternberg called Triangular theory of love. According to the theory, there's 3 important elements in love: intimacy, passion & commitment. Combine all 3 elements, one can has a consummate love, the complete form of love that represent the ideal relationship towards which ppl strive. Well, with the diagram I guess it will be very easy to understand.

But according to the founder, it's not easy to achieve consummate love, which I strongly agree. I will see love at first comes in intimacy(if it's from friendship) or passion(if it's love in first sight). Then slowly it will comes another element (intimacy or passion, which ever that did not came in first). For commitment, it's really not easy nowadays. Not only men doesn't like to commit in a relationship, but women too. Commitment become a pressure and burden.

Well, until the day both committed, you think that's the end of the story?? Princess and her prince living happily ever after?? Nope. Maintaining this consummate love is even harder than achieving. Even Sternberg also agreed on that. To me, the route of love is from liking, to romantic love, then finally I got consummate love. But it just hard to last... Sometimes passion faded, sometimes intimacy faded... So from consummate love, it often changes to fatuous love or companionate.. However, what I really afraid is the love become empty love. When there's only commitment left, for me, it doesn't means love anymore...

I really do hope I can keep the intimacy, but I'm not sure what's went wrong that took away it... When there's no more intimacy, I felt that passion is going away too... OMG!! I really dunno what to and really hoping for help...

Learning process

Life is actually a learning process... I guess everyone agrees with it... From the day we were born, we learn to sit, talk, walk, n etc... Some ppl thought they had learn enough when they get older, of course many knows that learning process wont stop...

In marriage life, much things need to learn also... We learn to live with each other, learn to tolerant, learn to take care each other, learn to love, learn to be patience, learn to forgive, learn to trust, learn to respect... But it seems like the one who actually really keen to learn was always the woman... I'm not sure it's my subjective point of view or it's actually quite true...

To prove my view not that subjective, here's the example... See, there's plenty of books on how to be a 'successful woman behind a successful man', books that teach women how to cope with family and husband n etc. But there are so little books that talk about marriage or family to MEN! Even there are a few, but men never look for that... Well, maybe some men dun like to read... But when men face prob in work, they will find solutions, maybe from colleagues or from internet... However, did you ever heard that your man online find solution for your relationship or marriage?? They will rather play online game, I bet...

In my marriage, my man wanted to learn many things... I see that as a good thing... but soon I find out that to manage the relationship is never the thing he wants to learn... He wont admit, or maybe he also dunno... As a wife, I really think I'm learning to be better... From doing housework to cooking dishes, it's all new to me and I'm keen to learn... See, cooking, women will buy cooking books to learn cook, but men will buy motor trader to see his dream car... I read a book said that to a man, relationship is like he bought a fridge home. After 'set up' the fridge then it can be use for years and years without having to worry about maintaining or cleaning it.

Many man will think that his VERY IMPORTANT role in the relationship is to provide financial support. Well, money is always important that cannot be denied. But is that the main stem of the relationship?? I'm not very sure, however, one thing I'm sure is without money the relationship most probably can still survive, without love the relationship will sure collapse.

Anyway, love is really powerful. I really dun wish to admit this, but I know this few years ago before I married him, that he got the key of my life. In others' view, I seems like always bully him and he seems all under my control. In fact, both of us know it's actually not. No matter how I mad of him, end up I will still forgive him for no reason (I really really dunno why). Haha, movie always showed that the wife kicks her husband out of the room. Well, I'm not sure how many women can actually sleep well after doing that... but for sure I'm not the one! I just kick him to another room with bed, not living room with sofa, but the whole night I was worrying whether there's blanket in the room... I felt miserable failure for cant being hard hearted!

Aih, I guess there's so much more for me to learn... but it's really sad when he said that I never respect his life... Well, I dunno what I did and deserved that... I know that respect each other is very important in relationship. But I never did that... so I'm kinda lost now... dunno what else I can do... I guess this is a part of the learning process... a part of life...

First Trimester

This is my baby when she was just 10 weeks old. Yup, it's still pretty small on that time, 3.46cm only... On that time, I suffered a mild morning sickness. Nausea and dizzy quite often, sometimes did vomit but not consider serious I think.

Ok, she was getting bigger now. She was 10.9cm at 16 weeks. That's the end of first trimester and going to start the second trimester. In the first trimester, the most suffer part was constipation. I suffered on constipation quite serious. Maybe I never had that experience before, that's why really dunno how to cope with it. I remembered that was one night I couldn't sleep at all, keep visiting the toilet but still there's nothing. Until near morning, only the prob got solved. From that day, I swear that I must take more fruits, veges and plenty of water.

Physically unwell will sometimes lead to mental unstable too. During the pregnancy, I was really worry about my baby. Sometimes was over sensitive too. That made me paid for extra visits to the doc also :p But it's worth for my baby's health! Oh ya, during the above scan the doc mentioned that most probably my baby is a princess. So we assumed she is my beloved princess.

I set up a baby name poll for my little princess.

http://www.babyzone.com/babynames/bnpoll.asp?pollid=130021

There's the link for the poll. I hope for a not so common yet meaningful name. My hubby was so headache on my choosey, so we decided to come out with this poll. Hopefully it will help little princess get a nice name =)

Changing...

Had a weird dream this morning... After woke up, I feel life's changing. I know I had been married for more than a year, and now little baby is growing in my tummy. But now only I felt the changes of life.

From the day I was born, there's so much loves and cares around me. When I was in primary school age, I often cried in the night thinking one day if my parents pass away, how sad it will be... not because I will be alone, I know I still have my bros, friends and others... but the feeling was really really scared and upset... Parents, they are the person who grow me up from little baby to an adult... The feeling of losing them was really terrible even it not yet happen.

Until the day of my secondary school, I think less on that issue, perhaps there are too much attraction in life that made me neglect that issue for quite some times... In that few years, I don't like to stay at home, always looking for something exciting out there... I fall in and out in love... When I felt sad and lonely, home is still the place I hide myself. At the time, I know there's still loves and cares around me even when I don't want to stay at home.

On the day of my marriage, I know I had to leave the home. Many ppl told me a marriage is 2 persons leave your origin family and build another family of your own. I agreed on that and I thought all the while I'm doing this year, was building my own family. But this morning woke up, I realized that I was wrong. I never left my home or family nor building my own 'home'. Marriage still didn't takes place in my life. Although I spent most of my time with my hubby and I told everyone he is my husband. But it just not the right feeling of husband, not until this morning.

The feeling of transform is, now I understand the one who going to spend my lifetime with me will be my husband. My family, my parents, they couldn't be with me for the whole life. It sounds very funny, I know... this should be very obvious in life! But I'm not sure is everyone 'understand' this fact or just 'know' the fact... All the while I'm thinking was if my marriage didn't turn up successfully, I will still have my parents. The feeling was like when you still having puppy love with your bf. Yup, sure you will feel upset after breaking up but it just an ending of a small chapter in your life. It's different in marriage, husband is not bf anymore. We both committed to stay with each other for the rest of life. Rest of the life, if I can live up to 80 years, means I will be with my husband for 3/4 of my life. It's no more a small chapter in life!

Wow, it sound like I'm regretting of my commitment. No! It's made me more confirm and more sure that I want to commit in this marriage. This doesn't mean my parents and bros not important anymore. I know they are still there for me with loves and cares. But now I understand my parents committed in their marriage, so they will spend their lifetime together... even if one day they pass away, I shouldn't be too sad because they have their life together happily. My bros will grow up one day, they will need to committed in their life also. So all of us living in our own life, but are all connected to each other...

Oh what am I talking?? Maybe you don't understand what I mean, maybe I myself also don't know what I want to mean... but life is wonderful, with new thoughts and feelings everyday!